When we talk about being authentic, I don’t feel like it’s possible to really discuss this topic without talking about compassion.
Because a person who’s practicing compassion has a series of belief systems that they are upholding; they have boundaries that they practice for themselves and with other people. This kind of deeply heartfelt compassion comes from a space of enforcing those boundaries from a space of self-respect and mutual respect.
And that just puts it out in such a beautiful way.
What we need in order to be authentic is to understand:
- What are our values?
- What is it that we truly intend to live by?
- How am I truly feeling?
- What do I need?
- How am I tending to my own body, my own heart, my own mind?
Being able to understand that, gives us the ability to be really honest with ourselves and to take good care of ourselves. This translates into being able to share from that place with the people around us.
In short, we can maintain relationships more healthily, without exerting so much energy in ways that are detrimental to our wellbeing. And we can do this in small ways, or we can do this in grand ways but what we’re doing is just understanding who am I? What is it that I’m willing to contribute to a relationship or to a job? And can I uphold that within myself while taking care of myself? What’s my place in an intimate relationship, in a friendship? What’s my place in the job sector? What’s my place in the societal structure? What’s my place in this whole of humanity, in this interconnected system of life, of ecological systems, of societal systems?
When we come to a place of understanding in this, we are able to come to a place where we can live authentically in ourselves.
Interested in more?
I want to help you to realize who are you. I want to help you to see the beauty that resides in you, and how deserving you are to feel that you are good enough, that you matter, that you do have a purpose. I want to help you see that in loving yourself unconditionally, you will find your way in this great mystery that we’re all living as humans.
Watch my video below on living authentically and schedule a time to talk with me about Spiritual Life Coaching.
Full Transcript
Welcome to my massage studio. My healing studio. My coaching studio. And to one of the living spaces in my home. I wanted to do this video in this space so that you could get a sense for what it’s like to visit with me and for us to possibly work together. And also because since the topic of this video is how do I live an authentic life, I thought what better way than to just show up as myself in my own space. And I’ll be honest with you, making a video like this, it’s not something that I feel very practiced in. So there’s a little bit of anxiety in the background. It’s the same space as speaking in front of a group. Even though this isn’t a live video, there’s still those sensations there. And I wanted to display for you how it is that a person comes to be with their own lived experience in order to find their way into this space of authentic being. And what it really comes down to is being completely honest with ourselves.
There’s a lot of ways that I could have gone about making this video. And it could be more polished. It could have a script. But I thought that’s not really authentic. That’s dressed up. So in order to be honest with myself and to not put so much pressure on myself, I’m just here in the midst of my morning routine, speaking to you directly from a present state of awareness that wants to share something very important. Well, something that I feel is very important and that I’m hoping will resonate with you as well. So when we talk about being authentic, I don’t feel like it’s possible to really discuss this topic without talking about compassion. And being able to practice compassion is something that it seems so easy when it comes to spaces where we recognize real suffering. We recognize that there’s suffering happening in the world around us, that there are spaces outside of our America that have great tolls of loss and violence taking place right now.
And just bringing that forward, I’m sure the sensation within your heart arises of this wanting to hold that space, wishing that there was something that could be done. And our arms aren’t always long enough to reach out and wrap it around the world, it seems. And so then often people find themselves in these spaces of feeling like they’re not good enough, they’re not doing enough. And there’s always this sense of wanting to find one’s purpose. And I find that this is a very common concern that many people come to my work with. And feeling like you don’t have a purpose and wanting to find some way to reach out and affect the world around you, it does come from compassion. And perhaps we’re not in a position to be able to hold all those hearts and to have enough money perhaps to donate into a system that could support people that are experiencing real atrocity and suffering.
But if we are to bring that experience back to our own experience, of the suffering of the wanting and really the pain that I feel that I can’t and that I feel that what I’m doing is not good enough, that this is an example of the microcosm of the macrocosm, that I have suffering within me. That there’s a war that’s going on inside of the self that is really putting so much pressure on an individual to do something, to be better. And slowing that down, so I breathe to slow that down, to come back to my own lived experience, to be in a position where I have cultivated this awareness of compassion and how to utilize it within my own life in a way that I’m able to share that with other people. And yes, this is my profession, but there’s many ways that we can utilize this compassion in every walk of life. And it all begins within ourselves. And a lot of people talk about empathy.
We have a lot of people that feel very deeply for other people, but there’s differences when we’re talking about empathy and compassion. This is something that I learned from a researcher on shame. Her name is Brené Brown. You may have heard from her. She’s a brilliant speaker and author. And I recently came across an excerpt of an interview where she was explaining the difference between empathy and compassion. And her thoughts on it were rising out of the space of what is it that inspires a person to compassion. We have such beautiful examples of people that have devoted their lives to compassion. Someone like Mother Teresa is a beautiful example of that. And she was trying to understand in her research, what is it that these people have in common that allows them to give in that way? And she said that she thought that it might be faith or spirituality. But interestingly enough, what she actually found was that the difference is that people that practice empathy, this is a learned skill.
This is something that can be measured, it can be taught, it can be observed. Whereas compassion is actually rising out of boundaries. And this means that a person who’s practicing compassion actually has a series of belief systems that they are upholding, that they have boundaries that they practice for themselves and with other people. And that this kind of blanket compassion that’s able to be expressed in a very vast way, a very deeply heartfelt way, is actually coming from this space of enforcing those boundaries from this space of self-respect and mutual respect. And that just puts it out in such a beautiful way. What it is that we need in order to be authentic is we need to understand what are our values? What is it that we truly intend to live by? And being able to get really clear with ourselves about how am I feeling? What do I need? How do I tend to my own body, my own heart, my own mind?
Being able to understand that gives us the ability to really be honest with ourselves and to take very good care of ourself. And then that translates into being able to share from that place with other people. So this means that we no longer exert energy in relationships or in work situations that are detrimental to our well-being. And we can do this in small ways, or we can do this in grand ways. But really what we’re doing is just understanding who am I? What is it that I’m willing to contribute to a relationship or to a job? And can I uphold that within myself that I’m able to take care of me, but also be honest about what’s my place in the world? What’s my place in an intimate relationship, in a friendship? What’s my place in a job sector? What’s my place in societal structure? What’s my place in this whole of humanity, in this interconnected system of life, of ecological systems, of societal systems?
Who am I? And what is it that I want to contribute to that? And understanding that there’s these sensations of things that are blocking us from being able to be that true self. And this can arise out of so many different things. It can arise out of our family conditioning. It can arise out of the area that we grew up in. It can arise out of the kind of education that was offered to us. It can arise out of circumstances of an inability to access certain kinds of help, certain kinds of kindness. And so with that, we have to be able to bring ourselves back and understand, how can I provide that for myself? In what small way can I give myself the presence, the kindness, and the compassion that I’m needing in order to feel fulfilled? So that then I can find my way towards a day-to-day experience where I feel like I’m contributing to the world from a space that feels like it has some warmth, some meaning.
So in my work, I help people to find these passageways through feeling and learning to care for themselves, and learning to be really honest with themselves. And we do this in many different ways. And this is something that it has healed my life in so many ways of so much pain and suffering that I can’t help but share it. Even if this wasn’t my job, it’s really who I am. It’s what I’ve become as a result of that because when I sense into my own suffering, I’m able to sense into the suffering of others. And then I feel inspired to do something, even if that’s just smile at a stranger. And I want to help you to realize who are you. To help you to see the beauty that really resides in you, and how deserving you are to feel that you are good enough, that you matter, that you do have a purpose, that ultimately you are your purpose. And that in loving yourself unconditionally, and learning what is it that’s stopping me from being able to really sense into that love, is what will allow me to find my way in this great mystery that we’re all living as humans.
Spirits that are having human experiences, that have this basic goodness within us, that it wants to connect. We are social creatures, and so being able to connect into how am I blocked from being able to connect with myself, so that then I can see how I’m blocked from connecting with others, and then that grander world, this is to me the answer that we’re all looking for. And so I hope that you’ll explore some of the services that I offer on my website by following the links below, and see how maybe we could develop a relationship together where we can start binding you toward your home, towards your heart, towards your sense of belonging, toward your ability to feel that you have purpose, and that you matter, and that you can feel good, and that you can feel healthy, and happy even in a world that is filled with so much difficulty.
And that we can feel as if we have a way that we can reach out from our own sense of true self, of authentic being, and we can radiate from that place, and we can create like a pebble dropping into a pond, a rippling that can reach others. I hope that this has been helpful for you today, and I hope that I will see you soon, and I hope that you feel the resonance of this beautiful message of compassion. And in closing, I just want to send a prayer, a blessing, a wish, a vibration out to all beings. May all beings be happy, safe, and free. May all beings find their way home.
