My Journey Of Self Discovery, Self Love and Inner Peace.

You may be asking yourself. How is she qualified to help me? As you will see in this short summary of my life, my credentials are not only professional,  but are derived from a life full of love and loss, pleasure and pain, death and rebirth, I am sharing my story with you,

so you will understand how my life's journey is relevant. To speak the truths of what brought me to this place in my life and with empathy and non-judgment, offer you a safe space to be yourself. I believe that honesty is the pathway to love and acceptance. As long as we are hiding who we really are, we cannot fully love ourselves and we cannot heal from the trauma of our lives. I believe that self-love can heal any affliction; that you can find peace and contentment in your everyday life. We must take responsibility for the difficulty in our lives, hold ourselves accountable, and let nothing and no one stop us from realizing the perfection and beauty that is

you. 

First, a little background.  I was raised in an Italian Catholic Family in Pennsylvania. My family life was what appeared to be atypical from the outside, but was dysfunctional behind closed doors. I found myself fighting a constant battle with who I knew I could be, and

what my family experience had imprinted on me.  Most psychologist will tell you that through no fault of their own, many parents end up imprinting their children with the same dysfunctional coping mechanisms they received from their own parents. It is an endless,

vicious cycle..and I was a spoke in that wheel.

Until a person decides to break the family cycle it will continue. I am one such individual. I did not awaken to my ability to rewrite the narrative I was raised under until many years later. For me I found myself as a prime target for bullying at home and at school. I

became the scapegoat for everyone’s misplaced pain. I was conditioned to believe that there must be something fundamentally wrong with me, and that somehow  I was responsible for how everyone around me felt. It was my fault they were unhappy, and I needed to do something about it. I felt helpless and rebellion was my defense mechanism, I found myself internalizing their pain and blame. I suffered from depression, insomnia and suicidal thoughts from the age of 8 and well beyond. With an attempt on my own life at 13. I am also a sexual assault survivor. This started a dangerous cycle of dating the wrong individuals. I became enmeshed in long term

relationships from a young age, seeking some sort of safety and approval from those around me. I  experienced several physical setbacks in my young life, such as multiple broken bones and soft tissue injuries. These situations left me stranded in countless healing crises and woes of depression. It was during my adolescence that I had my first major head injury, after slipping on black ice and whipping my head back so hard that I had vertigo for 2 weeks, unfortunately at the time the only thought of rehab for a concussion was rest and time. My back was injured and I found myself in a world of pain from the rehab protocol. The only thing that helped was

massage therapy and I was amazed at the relief it gave me. I had been interested in massage in the past and thought I may want to work as a therapist. At 17 I was given an opportunity to work for a Marketing Company where I excelled in sales and business development. At this young age I was given a branch managers office and in the 2 years I worked with them I gained the life experience of owning and operating my own business and managing a sales force of 40 people. However, a career in the healing arts was still appealing to me. Having a close relationship with pain personally and witnessing my Mother in pain and massaging her since

I was a child.

Through the many ups and downs. I developed an emphatic attunement to the world around me. I found myself very often being privy to everyone’s deepest darkest secrets and most vulnerable states as people would confide in me. A natural space holder emerged. Even when I was in grade school I stood up for the underdog. I felt it was my duty to protect, unconditionally love, and offer acceptance  to those that felt out-cast and were mistreated. At the age of 18 I had the ability to see how my life experiences were teaching me how to be present with people in times of difficulty. That I was being attuned to support those who were injured emotionally and physically. Life had taught me to persevere and that adversity can teach you lessons that make life more meaningful. Because of my loving heart I felt it was my duty to deliver that message to others. I knew it was time to embrace my true nature and answer the calling to serve. Along with attaining a national certification and state license in massage therapy and body work, I also became a Certified Reiki Master.

Over the years I became certified in numerous modalities working in a sports medicine capacity as well as working in the etheric realms of energy medicine; assisting my clients in recognizing and releasing resistance to happiness and well-being. I love helping people to feel better and offer support during times of emotional unrest, helping people to learn from their troubles and move forward in life. I was successful in my field and came to own and operate a massage therapy business with aspirations to open a full-service wellness center. Until, the universe decided it had other plans for me. On Nov 17 2012 my life changed, when my car was struck by another driver at full speed and I was driven off the road. I was saved from rolling over by a rod iron fence. The force of the vehicle hitting mine was so great that I was knocked unconscious, among other contusions, my right thumb was broken in 3 places. When I came to, the dizziness I was experiencing from what was called a "severe concussion" at the time was the least of my worries. I couldn't massage without my thumb. It took 6 months to get back to work full time. I knew that I was lucky to not have been injured more seriously given the nature of the accident. I immediately began assessing my life. Realizing I had a lot to be grateful for and was empowered by my ability to continue doing energy work while healing. It was a difficult time and I was determined to rehab and get back to working towards my wellness center.

But I was not prepared for what was emerging in the background. During the time of recovering from my acute injuries I slept a lot. I went from being a highly functioning individual, to someone who could barely stay awake most of the day. My life began to come undone, I found myself in a confusing state where I could no longer manage my emotions. Over the next 4 years, my personal life and business fell apart. The main advice given by doctors, was to sleep when I felt tired and I was prescribed stimulant medication to keep me awake when working. Also, to do my best to do what I have always done allowing my neural pathways to support me. So, I pushed

myself and I lived on auto pilot as best I could for 4 years. Doing what I could to keep my business afloat while desperately seeking alternative interventions for what was finally diagnosed to be a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury. Because of the supporting neural pathways, I could do the tasks I was trained to do. On the surface it seemed I was still running a successful business. However, what allowed me to function in my day to day life was crumbling before my very eyes. I went from being a very articulate, organized and dependable business women, to a person living in a home filled with piles of papers and unfinished tasks, as well as difficulty tracking conversation and meeting commitments. My joy of learning and reading was all but lost and I found myself depressed and wondering how could I go on. I did my best over those years to take more and more responsibility off my shoulders, to simplify my life. I also began meditating and having brain therapy sessions. No matter what I was doing to try and carry on, the weight of not only this current condition, but the conditioning of my entire existence had caught up with me.

My mental toughness and go get-it-ness that had carried me though all my life's trials and tribulations was gone. My view became that of a scared and lost person, riddled with anxiety and post-traumatic stress. The depression and suicidal ideation came back full force. I began recognizing glaring patterns in my existence. The same dysfunctional relationships, different faces, same conditions. The same climate of depression, sickness, and injury. It was the microcosmic perspective of my earlier existence on repeat. As I simplified my life more and more, I still continued to find myself exhausted and overwhelmed, grasping at straws in a cognitive sense. I had way more on my plate than the average person could handle alone and how was I doing it all? How was I over achieving and being a super woman? By not honoring myself; by putting the needs of others before my own. This situation stripped me of my ability to continue on in this way. I was talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I knew the universe was not going to let me get away with dragging myself through life caring for everyone else better than myself anymore. I had a lot of self-work to do. I was supported during this time by the love of those who might not have understood what was happening but whom did not question my reality. I went to house cleaning on my circle of friends, and excused anyone taking and not giving. My family was not able to accept the circumstances of what was happening to me. Traumatic brain injury is very personal and is not easily recognized by people who are not living with an injured brain. So instead of being loving and supportive, my family responded in anger and denial. I saw this as a fear response as they were attempting to protect me and the only way they knew how to encourage a person was through negative reinforcement.  I was not able to juggle my life and be the sounding board for their troubles any longer and could not play peace maker/ advice giver to the family’s squabbles. I felt that my brain was being ripped in two, as I struggled to keep up with this intense climate. I began being very honest about how I felt about the family dynamics and began to realize that little had changed for them as individuals since I had left my family home 10 years prior. I became unable to uphold the identity I had always been to the people in my life, and out of desperation I started saying no when I normally would say yes. I no longer had the time or energy to spare. I became interested in understanding what had brought me here in life and in deepening my understanding of human behavior and mindfulness as a pathway to wellness. I decided that whatever was to become of me I would figure this out and I would stop this cycle of abuse and self-deprecation.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and I was learning to trust in the process of life. The saying may the world know peace and may it begin with me was clear in my psyche and I knew I had to change. I began learning from spiritual masters and life transformers of all kinds. Finding ways to reprogram my thinking and support building new, healthy neural pathways. I recognized a phenomenon as a therapist from years prior. That as I gained insights from my life experience and worked to heal from my own journey, my clients would present with similar conditions. While recognizing patterns of dysfunctional relationships and emotional and physical upset in my life since childhood. I began to notice this greater cycle of pain and stress present in my clients as well. That they would become well with the intervention of therapy only to eventually be pulled back down by the weight of their emotional world and return in pain. I could see that we were not getting to the heart of their pain and stress because we were not addressing the conditions that lead to where they found themselves in life. We were dealing with the symptoms and not the cause of pain. The imprinted afflictions of their upbringing and life experience. I knew I had to find a way to go deeper with my clients, that energy medicine can

help to support such change but that the individual must choose to make better choices for themselves and sort out what is promoting the continued state of being.

It was at this time that I knew I needed to care for myself, like I had never before been cared for. I had tried every which way I could think of, reporting to numerous doctors and healers and even went to depths of Shamanic healing. But nothing and no one could heal me like me. I needed to stop any and all care-giving to others and focus fully on my own healing. For the first time in my life I was my number one priority. I spent the next 3 years rebuilding my body heart and mind. I am proud to say I am better than I have ever been. My brain state is still that of the "new normal" but that doesn't mean it's not just as good as before, I just learned different ways of using my brain. The main component here is in self-acceptance. I learned I needed to stop comparing myself to who I used to be and embrace the new me. I feel I was rerouted to my true-life path and calling. And that through every bit of my journey I was being primed yet again to help the next person needing help in this way. Also, because I opened myself up to finally receive love in this process. My experience with relationships has healed to a point I never dreamed it could be.

I have radically changed for the better; all because I choose to learn to love myself more than anyone else. Through this deep inward journey of self-discovery, I have found the person I was always meant to be. The essence that is present in us all, no matter what the

circumstances of life are. The divine spark that makes me, me, and you, you. That allows you to feel connected and supported by the very nature of existence if you let it.

Every individual on this planet is significant and your life has meaning and can feel purposeful wherever you stand. I want to show how I came to know this and how I healed my life. In the years following the car accident as I learned more about mindfulness and realized that there was a deeper issue causing my clients pain and stress. I decided to take a different path in my career and became a Certified Spiritual Life Coach. Along with my extensive training at the Divine Intelligence Institute and my background as a Reiki Master. I have the skills needed to assist you in healing your life. A way-shower if you will, to following your bliss and realizing self-love. A path way to self-preservation and self-respect. 

You have to be the most important person in your life in order to be happy. If your life feels difficult and you are being faced with calamity after calamity. You and only you have the power to stop it. You can overcome, you can rebuild. You can be reborn into the person you were truly meant to be, into a life you long for. If you are brave enough to love yourself, and to rewrite the programs that made you into what you are today. You are not alone and no matter what the circumstances that brought you to this place in your life I am here for you and I promise to meet you in a space of non-judgment, unconditional love and acceptance.